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• The doctor wanted to write a prescription, so he reached in his pocket and pulled out a thermometer.
  Shit," he muttered, "Some asshole has my pen....
• Nobert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories.
  Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him...
• He had been bitten by a dog, but didn't give it much thought until he noticed that the wound was taking a remarkably long time to heal.
  Finally, he consulted a doctor who took one look at it and ordered the dog brought in....
• A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth.
  Afterwards, the doctor came to her and said, "I have some....
• Oh, he [a big dog] hunts with papa," she said. "He says Don Carlos [the dog] is good for almost every kind of game.
  He went duck hunting one time and did real well at it....
• The world's most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left his ticket at home.
  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat....
• The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument.
  This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was owed a personal favour by Georges Enesco, the celebrated violinist....
• Two men once wrote to Mark Twain. Not having his address, they marked the envelope, Mark Twain God knows where They received a response from him
  He did....
• Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull?
  Is it "dull" that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it?...