Related:

• The other day I.... No, that wasn't me. -- comedian Steven Wrigh
• I wish I could have stayed one more year or two. There was so much I wanted to see and to do and to have done to me.
  -- Apu Nahassapeemapetilan, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• My ATM just asked me if I wanted to go double or nothing!
• I wanted a manly mail reader... I got a silly one [SIGH]
• I was a war baby. My parents took a look at me and started fighting.
• The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking one's self seriously.
  The first is imperative and the second is disastrous. -- Margot Fontey...
• I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year. . . for cheating on my metaphysics final.
  You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me....
• Windows: If I'd *wanted* a Mac, I would have *bought* one!
• No one takes you seriously? That's ridiculous!