Related:

• A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• He was the kind of man who was not ashamed to show affection.
  I guess that's what I hated about him. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• If you drop your keys into molten lava just let 'em go 'cause, man, they're gone.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong, and an even bigger one to keep his mouth shut when he's right.
  -- Jim Fiebig...
• Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder.
  But not any man is capable of being a good camper....
• Frank knew that no man had ever crossed the desert on foot and lived to tell about it.
  So, he decided to get back in his car and keep driving. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If doctors ever tell you that you've "flipped out," don't believe them, and just keep on doing what you were doing, because something tells me "the Man" is behind this.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...