Related:

• It's not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it on and really scare you.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• A man who cries is capable of any evil.
• Any mind that is capable of a real sorrow is capable of good.
• I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• He is a man capable of turning any colour into grey. -- John LeCarre
• If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If you drop your keys into molten lava just let 'em go 'cause, man, they're gone.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...