Related:

• Dan Quayle got his first assignment! He is in charge of picking up the crushed jelly beans from the carpet in the Oval Office.
  Currently, he is in school, learning how to do it. Next week, he starts....
• What is status? Status is when the President calls you for your opinion.
  Uh, no... Status is when the President calls you in to discuss a problem with him....
• I suppose that for the next year-and-a-half the stock market will shoot way up every time Howard Baker walks out of the Oval Office and says, "He's alert today!
  -- Mark Russell...
• People who Bowl Vote. Bowlers are not the cultural elite.
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle while at a Las Vegas bowling alley....
• Homer: Let me set the scene for you, Marge. Marge: All right.
  Homer: It's a 7-10 split. Marge: Uh huh? Homer: The hardest shot in bowling....
• As a matter of fact, I didn't understand it all. Only thing I know is that it looked good.
  -- Vice President Dan Quayle after being briefed -- on Space Station Freedom by NASA...
• Vice President Dan Quayle won't be in the Office today, since his wife was sick and there was no one else available to dress him.
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. -- Dan Rathe