Related:

• AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....
• God saw absolute truth lying in the street and picked it up.
  The Devil said, "Give it to me and I'll organize it for you....
• Picked up his crumbs. -- Arthur Murphy (1727-1805) -- The Upholsterer, Act i
• Bother! said Pooh, as he saw Ms. Bobbitt drive up.
• Did you hear about the Newfie that Picked his nose apart so he could see how it ran.
• I 'C' said the blind man.
• He thought he saw an Elephant, That practiced on a fife
  He looked again, and found it was A letter from his wife....