Related:

• What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. -- Dave Barry
• Like you, I am frequently haunted by profound questions related to man's place in the Scheme of Things.
  Here are just a few: Q -- Is there life after death?...
• I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes.
  -- Dave Barry...
• If I were here more often, I wouldn't be gone so much.
• I realize that I've made some very poor decisions recently, Dave, but I still have the utmost confidence in the mission.
  -- HAL 9000...
• I don't care what the orders are. I'm for getting out of here NOW!
• user, n: The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot.
  -- Dave Barry, "Claw Your Way to the Top" [I always thought "computer professional" was the phrase hackers used when they meant "idiot....
• I realize that the MX missile is none of our concern.
  I realize that the whole point of living in a democracy is that we pay professional congresspersons to concern themselves with things like the MX missile so we can be free to concern ourselves with getting hold of the plumber....