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• Oh, he [a big dog] hunts with papa," she said. "He says Don Carlos [the dog] is good for almost every kind of game.
  He went duck hunting one time and did real well at it....
• Homer: Lousy bragging know-it-all showoff... Marge
  What exactly did he say? Homer: Get this. He said, uh, he said....
• He did not mean to be cruel. If anybody had called him so, he would have resented it extremely.
  He would have said that what he did was done entirely for the good of the country....
• What they said: What they meant: "I recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever.
  (Yes, that about sums it up.) "The amount of mathematics she knows will surprise you....
• I woke up one morning and looked around the room. Something wasn't right.
  I realized that someone had broken in the night before and replaced everything in my apartment with an exact replica....
• There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up with taking in a round with his wife.
  One time (with his wife along) he was having an extremely bad round....
• Homer: Lisa, honey, are you going to be OK? Lisa: Bleeding Gums was my hero and I never got to tell him how I felt.
  Homer: Oh, I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure that wherever he is now, he's happy....
• I was walking down 126th Street on my way to work. Met a fella.
  He said, "Moms, I hate this, I really hate this, but, Moms, gimme some money!...
• Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it.
  -- Proverbs 22:6...