In school I was never the class clown, but more of the class trapeze
artist, as I was always being suspended ... Once the teacher said, "Emo,
what's five-nineteenths divided by four-fifteenths?" and my brain began to
bleed. She said, "Take it easy. What's our common denominator?" I said, "A
fondness for little girls?"
-- Emo Philips
artist, as I was always being suspended ... Once the teacher said, "Emo,
what's five-nineteenths divided by four-fifteenths?" and my brain began to
bleed. She said, "Take it easy. What's our common denominator?" I said, "A
fondness for little girls?"
-- Emo Philips
Related:
- This guy comes over to my house and says, "I want to read your
gas meter." I said,
"Whatever happened to the classics?" -- Emo... - A five-year-old kid raised his hand at school. The teacher declined to let
him leave the room.
Five minutes later she reversed herself. She said,... - The highway cop said, "Walk a straight line." I said,
"Well, Officer Pythagoras, the closest you could ever... - I went into Gus's artificial organ and taco stand. I said "Give me a bladder
por favor." The guy said "Is that to go?" I said,
"Well what else would I want it for?" -- Emo... - New York's such a wonderful city, but at the library the guy was very rude.
I said I'd like a card. He said, "You have to prove... - My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man.
I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo... - I left for college. Dad said, "I'm going to miss you." I said,
"Well, now that I broke the sight off your rifle."... - I ran three miles today,
finally I said "lady take your purse." -- Emo... - My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved,
but I never saw any reason to limit myself. -- Emo...
