Related:

• I am Victor of Borge. Prepare to be entertained.
• I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved this year.
  -- Victor Borge...
• I don't understand some phrases. Take "I look forward to seeing you.
  Why don't you listen forward to looking me? One night a woman came to me after a concert and said, "I haven't laughed so much since my husband died....
• My ATM just asked me if I wanted to go double or nothing!
• In my youth I hoped to do great things; now I shall be satisfied to get through without a scandal.
  BAGEHOT...
• I remember when people used to step outside a moment for a breath of fresh air.
  Now sometimes you have to step outside for days before you get it. -- Victor Borge...
• My wife and I were in Las Vegas. My wife called down and asked for room service--and a half hour later they send up a table and a dealer.
  Of course, my wife doesn't gamble, so she sent the table back....
• I found out why my car was humming. It had forgotten the words.
• I found out why my car was humming. It had forgotten the words.