Related:

• I want a screw. I need a good screw. -- from Green Card
• Good Eats, Good Friends and Money. That's all I need.
• I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me. -- Emo Philip
• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo Philip
• My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
  -- Emo Philip...
• The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence.
  .. sort of like the Post Office with tanks. -- Emo Philip...
• Bender: I need a calculator. Fry: You are a calculator. Bender: I need a good calculator.
• What I need right now is a good psychotic break.
• This guy comes over to my house and says, "I want to read your gas meter.
  I said, "Whatever happened to the classics?" -- Emo Philip...