Related:

• On this morning in August when I was 13, my mother sent us out pick tomatoes.
  Back in April I'd have killed for a fresh tomato, but in August they are no more rare or wonderful than rocks....
• If my baby won't love me no more, I know her sister will. -- Hendrix.
• She said I should think of her like a sister. I said I did, but not my sister.
• I love my wife and my Turbo C, sure miss he
• Dear Miss Manners: I carry a big black umbrella, even if there's just a thirty percent chance of rain.
  May I ask a young lady who is a stranger to me to share its protection?...
• Lisa: [shielding her eyes from the light; wobbly] What's happening?
  Where am I?? Helen: And she's on drugs!...
• For my sister's 40th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram. -- [Imitation] Steven Wrigh
• My sister's asthmatic. In the middle of an asthma attack she got an obscene phone call.
  The guy said, "Did I call you or did you call me?" -- John Mendoza...
• Questioning an undertaker: Can a person furnish his own casket?
  Would a large radio cabinet be acceptable for burial if hollowed out and made into a child's casket?...