Related:

• I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I hope someday a Pope chooses the name Shorty.
• When I see a merchant over-polite to his customers, begging them to taste a little brandy and throwing half his goods on the counter,--thinks I, that man has an axe to grind.
  -- Charles Miner (1780-1865) -- Who 'll turn Grindstone...
• Lenny: See, all along I've been telling Carl I'm married to a beauty queen.
  Now, he's coming over for dinner. Marge: Oh, Lenny, I'm sure he'll like your wife no matter what she looks like....
• I for one cannot protest the recent M.T.A. fare hike and the accompanying promises that this would in no way improve service.
  For the transit system, as it now operates, has hidden advantages that can't be measured in monetary terms....
• Selma: Are you gay? Troy: Gay? I wish! If I were gay they'd be no problem!
  No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost....