Related:

• If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able to bring a certain lightheartedness to the subject, in a way that tell the reader we are going to have fun with this thing.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I hope that after I die, people will say of me: ``That guy sure owed me a lot of money.
  '' -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
• People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
  What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair....
• I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick "Americans" as their mascot.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...