I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident.

Related:

• I just got out of the hospital after a speed reading accident.
  I hit a bookmark. -- S....
• I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm.
  By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. ...
• I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.
  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. -- Steven...
• I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said,
  "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?"...
• I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
  Steven...
• I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
  Steven...
• I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
  Steven...
• I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.
  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. -- Stephen...
• I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
  [Imitation] Steven...