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• I have decided that suicide is completely out of the question.
  I refuse to end the suffering of others... No, I must contemplate homicide and end the suffering of one....
• I have always noticed that whenever a radical takes to Imperialism, he catches it in a very acute form.
  -- Winston Churchill, 1903...
• Eggs?? Where the hell ) \ | / .-'" \_ are my carrots?
  ! / _\|/.' o()(__)_____________________/ /_____\_ /'----|_/_ | 0 \ __...
• I am against all hobbies. I have been against ever since I figured out that nothing I ever do is considered a hobby.
  All my life I have had to fill out forms that ask about hobbies....
• I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.
  -- E. M. Forster, Two Cheers for Democracy...
• This is the first time anyone has ever sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by twenty minutes!
  -- Martin, "Bart's Friend Falls in Love...
• As you enter the mine a rather burly man approaches you and exclaims, "Great to see someone else stumble into this God (sic) forsaken hole.
  I came here 12 years ago and lost my boat. This mine has the greatest gem hordes ever encountered....
• I was, I am, I will be, is a question of grammar and not of existance -- B.
  M. Cioran (1911- ), The Temptation to Exi...
• I could be a country-western singer. I just got done writing my latest song
  If I had met you earlier, I would have gotten rid of you long before now....