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• If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do
  Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet." -- Jay Leno...
• On Presidents Day you stay home and you don't do anything.
  Sounds like Vice Presidents Day! -- Jay Leno...
• Jay: Welcome to "Coming Attractions". I'm your host, Jay Sherman, thank you.
  Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9"....
• Here's something to think about: How come you never see a Headline like `Psychic Wins Lottery.
  ' -- Comedian Jay Leno...
• Homer: What the hell are you reading books for? Ba
  I'm doing "The Conan O'Brien Show", and I want to have some intelligent stuff to talk about....
• Marge: [writing] "Dear Mr. Sherman, on behalf of the people of Springfield I would like to invite you to judge our film festival.
  [cut to Jay reading the letter in New York] You can stay with us, and enjoy the sights and sounds of the country....
• Guest hosting for Jay Leno tonight is you.
• It's your life, do what you want.
• You used to have a rabbit. Beautiful little thing. Do you remember?
  Flossy. That's right. Flossy. Do you remember what happened to Flossy?...