Related:

• Someone put live piranha in our swimming pool. If we don't swim there anymore, the piranha will starve.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• Al's mortuary. You stab 'em, we slab 'em. 24 hours a day, ask about our group rate.
• Homer watches TV] Lisa: [walking in with Bart, blocks Homer's view of TV] Dad?
  [Homer flops sideways, continues watching TV] Lisa...
• If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.
  -- Abigail Van Bure...
• Many of us spend half our life wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.
  -- Alexander Woollco...
• The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic.
  It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics....
• If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.
  -- Abigail Van Bure...
• We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can.
  -- Cullen Hightowe...