Related:

• I was asked if I would feed my neighbor's dog while they went on vacation.
  Innocently enough I said I would do it. I had no idea that cats were so darned hard to catch....
• When I received the Nobel Prize, the only big lump sum of money I have ever seen, I had to do something with it.
  The easiest way to drop this hot potato was to invest it, to buy shares....
• Would a Muslim vampire be scared of the Koran?
• I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood that you mean lengthwise loaves.
  Otherwise, it makes no sense. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• What I have done - I had to do. But at what cost? Your ship?
  Your son? If I hadn't tried, the cost would have been my soul....
• Honest Officer, had I known my health stood in jeprody I would never had lit one.
  Maxim of the Hells Angel...
• Honest Officer, had I known my health stood in jeopardy I would never had lit one.
  -- Maxim of the Hells Angel...
• My mother loved children---she would have given anything if I had been one.
  -- Groucho Marx, 1890-1977...
• My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
  -- Groucho Marx...