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• Honest Officer, had I known my health stood in jeopardy I would never had lit one.
  -- Maxim of the Hells Angel...
• If I had known it was harmless I would have killed it myself. -- PKD
• But, officer, I only had two beers.
• Goose pimples rose all over me, my hair stood on end, my eyes filled with tears of love and gratitude for this greatest of all conquerers of human misery and shame, and my breath came in little gasps.
  If I had not known that the Leader would have scorned such adulation, I might have fallen to my knees in unashamed worship, but instead I drew myself to attention, raised my arm in the eternal salute of the ancient Roman Legions and repeated the holy words, "Heil Hitler!...
• If I had two loaves of bread, I would sell one and buy hyacinths, for they would feed my soul.
  -- The Kora...
• If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.
• If I'd known grandchildren would be so much fun, I would have had them fi
• If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith." -- Albert Einstei