Related:

• When I see a bird that walks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, I call that bird a duck.
  -- Richard Cardinal Cushing...
• I need some duck tape. My duck has a quack in it.
• I TAUGHT MY DUCK TO SAY ".QWK .QWK
• Broker: Homer, you knuckle-beak, I told you a hundred time
  you've got to sell your pumpkin futures before Hallowe'en!...
• Life's a Cabaret... Long, dull, and full of Nazis. -- Howard the Duck
• When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and yelled, "What's the matter, no jobs on Mars?
  When no one laughed, I was real embarrassed. I don't think people should make you feel that way....
• My mother-in-law is an alien.
• Fry: I refuse to testify on the grounds that my organs will be chopped up into a patty.
  Judge Whitey: Ah, the sixty-seventh ammendment....
• I need some duck tape. My puter has a QWaK in it.