Related:

• If you do everything, you'll win. -- Lyndon Baines Johnso
• The only truly indigenous American inventions are Thanksgiving turkey and fingerfucking.
  -- Lyndon Baines Johnso...
• If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.
  -- Lyndon Baines Johnso...
• Did you hear about the poor fellow whose unfortunate pissing trajectory earned him the nickname Tinkletoes.
• A circus foreman was making the rounds inspecting the big top when a scrawny little man entered the tent and walked up to him.
  Are you the foreman around here?" he asked timidly....
• Campers do it in a tent.
• May you spend eternity pissing your bed.