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• You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.
• With YOU, I can be MYSELF.. We don't NEED Dan Rather.. -- Zippy the Pinhead
• You mean I can send mail to myself?
• I confuse myself just fine, thank you. Don't need help.
• I was in the store the other day and a salesperson came up to me and said, "Can I help you?
  I said, "Yea, give me what I need." She said, "I don't know what you need" I said, "You started it....
• I need all the help I can get!
• If you're feeling down, depressed and lonely, I know a place we can go.
• Woman, seductively:) Hi, I'm Linda. You know, it can be really lonely when you're a fashion model.
  Sometimes I just have to... (Interrupting:) Oh come on Linda, give me the damn phone....
• Can you cook? Can you sew? Well, I don't want to know, cause that's not what you need on the inside to make the time go.
  -- Ian Anderso...