Related:

• After meat comes mustard; or, like money to a starving man at sea, when there are no victuals to be bought with it.
  -- Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616) -- Don Quixote, Part i, Book iii, Chap. viii...
• Lisa: Dad, you forgot to pick up Milhouse. Homer: [exagerated] I &l
  did>? I must be getting forgetful in my old age. Open the glove compartment and fetch me my brain medicine....
• Otto: Can I at least get my stuff? Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old `Psycho' magazines.
  Otto: Wow! I have mustard? -- Otto gets evicted, "Otto Show...
• That shoe fits him like a glove. -- Oxymoro
• I can look sharp as well as another, and let me alone to keep the cobwebs out of my eyes.
  -- Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616) -- Don Quixote, Part ii, Book iii, Chap. xxxiii...
• I like driving around with my two dogs, especially on the freeways.
  I make them wear little hats so I can use the car-pool lanes. -- Monica Pipe...
• Sorry officer, I was holding my dogs' leash at the time.
• Don't laugh at me! I was once like you!
• Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats.
  Yell at a cat one time, they're gone. -- Lenny Bruce...