Related:

• You don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat.
• All I want to know is: WHY ME?
• Lisa: Ohhh, Apu! It's beautiful! Apu: Yes. This is where I come when I need some refuge from the modern world.
  Or, when I want to see drive-in movies for free. [Points out the drive-in theatre across the street....
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• Bender: I don't know why, but when I look down at their little faces it makes me want to puke.
  .. in a good way....
• Please come home with me... I have Tylenol!! -- Zippy the Pinhead
• Zweig: Er, Marge, this may not be the best time to bring this up, but, uh, your last check bounced.
  Marge: Wait, I'm remembering something. Zweig: Yes, Marge, there's still the matter of -- Marge...
• One day an elderly Jewish Pole, living in Warsaw, finds an old lamp in his attic.
  He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in cloud of smoke....
• Thank you for trying to sell me something I don't want, but I don't have any surplus hostility to vent.
  Could you please come back at a worse time?...