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• How many sado-masochists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to hold it and one to kick the chair out from under him....
• How many Soviet emigres -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One, and a lot of light bulbs....
• How many Soviet emigres -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to force the bulb in with a hammer, one to steal more bulbs, one to ask NYANA for a bigger hammer....
• How many Soviet emigres -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  None. Soviet emigres are used to sitting in the dark....
• How many hunt sabs -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to do it and two to clean the muddy footprints off the carpet and the chair he was standing on....
• How many university students -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to hold it and one to turn him around....
• How many JAPs -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaadddy....
• How many blondes -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!...
• How many Ergonomicists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Five - four to decide which way the bulb OUGHT to turn, and......