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• How many blondes -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to hold the light bulb, two to spin the ladder....
• How many Soviet emigres -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Four. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb, two to lift the chair by its legs, one to call an American and to ask which way to turn the chair....
• How many drummers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One .. Two, and a-one two three fou...
• How many Asians -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to change it and two to go to the cash & carry....
• How many police -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to change it and two to direct traffic (eh?)...
• How many lawyers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to change it and 2 to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection !...
• How many sado-masochists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to hold it and one to kick the chair out from under him....
• How many philosophers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to change it and two to stand around arguing over whether or not the light bulb exists....
• How many archaeologists does -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is....