Related:

• How many schizophreniacs -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Well, he thinks it's five but as we all now it's only him, so......
• How many people at a London Vegans meeting -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  All thirty. Well, actually it's only one, but he has to wait at least half an hour while the others read out all the announcements....
• How many Purdue engineering students -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One, and he gets three credit-hours for it....
• How many NCAA basketball players -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it....
• How many Iraqi soldiers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One. He takes it back to Baghdad for safe keeping........
• How many Contras -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Only one, but he doesn't know where it came from....
• How many egotists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One. He holds onto the light bulb, and waits for the world to revolve around him....
• How many managers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to dial one of their subordinates to actually change it....
• Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: One. Only it's his light bulb when he's done....