Beryl's Law: The "Consumer Report" On The Item Will Come Out A Week After You've Made Your Purchase.

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• The "CONSUMER REPORT" on the item will come out a week after you buy the item. -- Beryl's Law
• Your talents will be recognized. You will be sought out by the x-rated movie industry.
• No matter how carefully you shop for an item, once bought, it will be on sale elsewhere cheaper.
  -- Lewis's Law...
• Rated Number One by Top Gynecologists...
• RECEIPT Proof of the purchase of goods. There are two distinct types of receip
  - the receipt that sits in your wallet for the best part of a year before you clean it out, and then pops up again regularly for the rest of your life, in desk drawers, stuck in books as bookmarks, or attached to the fridge with a magnet - the receipt that you think you put safely somewhere, but can't find when the goods that you bought falls apart/breaks down/ causes you to want to return the goods, for whatever reason....
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
  (2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your income tax check bounces....
• You tried the rest, and bought WHAT..??!?
• So as your consumer electronics adviser, I am advising you to donate your current VCR to a grate resident, who will laugh sardonically and hurl it into a dumpster.
  Then I want you to go out and purchase a vast array of 8-millimeter video equipment....
• So as your consumer electronics adviser, I am advising you to donate your current VCR to a grate resident, who will laugh sardonically and hurl it into a dumpster.
  Then I want you to go out and purchase a vast array of 8-millimeter video equipment....