Related:

• You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week.
  ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up....
• Homer: Let me set the scene for you, Marge. Marge: All right.
  Homer: It's a 7-10 split. Marge: Uh huh? Homer: The hardest shot in bowling....
• Homer: How'd you get to be so good? June: Oh, just experience I suppose.
  I started out as Roadrunner. [as Roadrunner] Meep!...
• Homer: Marge, I'm going to build you a spice rack. Marge
  Oh, you don't have to go to all that trouble just for me....
• CBG: Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the _worst_ episode ever.
  Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world....
• Marge: [goes into labor] Oh! Homer: [rolls up his sleeves] Step aside.
  I'll deliver this baby. Dr. H: Uh, why don't you let me handle it, Homer?...
• You know, some of these stories are pretty good. I never knew mice lived such interesting lives.
  -- Homer Simpson Itchy & Scratchy & Marge...
• Marge: But on the other hand, when you don't take advantage of an opportunity, you can end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
  Homer: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr....
• Marge: Now wait a minute, I'm not sure about this. Every time we've ever gone on vacation I end up being horribly embarrassed.
  We end up in a big fight and we come home more miserable than when we left....