Related:

• Bart: What religion are you? Homer: You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life.
  Uh... Christianity. Episode: 3F21 Homerpalooza...
• Bart: Do you wear boxers or briefs? Homer: [checking] Nope.
  Bart: What religion are you? Homer: You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life....
• Homer: OK, the trampoline was a bad idea. But you know what?
  At least I'm out there trying new things. If it were up to you, all we'd ever do is work and go to church....
• Bart: Dad, you cannot wear that! That's a rastafarian hat.
  Homer: Pft. Hey, I've been safariing since before you were born....
• Homer: Oh, I've got 15 minutes to gain a pound or I have to face another day at work!
  Bart: Bad news, Dad. We're out of food. We're even out of the basic elements of food....
• Marge: Homer! Bart! Maggie! Company eating rules.
  Homer: [burps] Oh, right. [everyone eats all delicate, like] Ba...
• Brodka: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save security.
  That's right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has been caught shoplifting....
• Marge: [thrusting a copy of the photograph in his face] What is the &l
  meaning> of this! Homer: Whyarreeuumpht... Meaningless!...
• Bart: So, what's it like being famous, dad? Homer: People know your name, but you don't know theirs.
  It's great. -- Basic mantra of the prestigious, "Homerpalooza...