Related:

• Marge: So... you want to go on tour with a traveling freak show.
  Homer: I don't think I have a choice, Marge. Marge...
• Sir, I run Hullabalooza's pageant of the transmundane --the freak show, and I've been looking for a big fatso to shoot with a cannon.
  I'd like very much for you to be that fatso....
• Chamberlin: The hometown show's the big one, Homer.
  Iha: Yeah, people who called you a weirdo in high school get to see what a successful freak you've become....
• Marge: Homer, please. I have to alter this suit so it looks different for tomorrow.
  Homer: [yawns] Just slap some bumper stickers on it and come to bed, will you, Marge?...
• Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.
  Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help....
• Marge: Homer, those were very thoughtful presents, but you have to tell me where you got the money from.
  Homer: All right, Marge, I'll tell you, but first you have to promise you will not get mad....
• Homer: Stupid driving test at the stupid DMV where stupid Patty and stupid Selma work!
  Sometimes I think God is teasing me...just like he teased Moses in the desert....
• Bart: Come watch TV with me, Dad. We missed the first two episodes of "Cops", but if we hurry we can catch the last three.
  Homer: Aw, sorry Bart, Lisa and I are going out for a gelato....
• Homer: Let me set the scene for you, Marge. Marge: All right.
  Homer: It's a 7-10 split. Marge: Uh huh? Homer: The hardest shot in bowling....