Related:

• Lisa: Old people deserve our respect. Look at Jacques Cousteau and Goldie Haw
  you wouldn't shut them away like second-class citizens....
• Burns: Oh, Simpson, can't you go five seconds without humiliating yourself?
  [Abe's pants go down with a "boing"] Abe...
• Grandma: Homer, you grew up so handsome. Homer: Some people say I look like Dan Aykroyd.
  I can't believe you're here! Dad always told me you died while I was at the movies....
• Abe: [yells] Don't kill me! Burns: I've tried to meet you halfway on this, Simpson, but you had to be little Johnny Live-a-lot.
  Now, give me your key to the Hellfish bonanza....
• Nurse: Abraham Simpson, your family is here to visit you.
  Abe: Hot diggity, my family's come to visit me!...
• Back then, I was known as Sgt. Simpson, and I commanded the Flying Hellfish, the fightingest squad in the fightingest company in the third-fightingest battalion in the army.
  -- Abe starts his story, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish...
• I got this in the second World War II...
  -- Abe shows off his Hellfish tattoo, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish...
• Bart: Hey, Grampa, do you think that dead bodies get up and walk around at night?
  Abe: If they're anything like me, they have to get up twice....
• Bart: Now we can get the treasure! Abe: Oh, what's the use.
  Burns would still find some way to take it from me....