Related:

• Homer: [struggling to complete a pushup] Two! Lenny
  Actually Homer, that's just one. See, each pushup includes both an up part and a down part....
• Homer: Stonecutters, eh? How do I join? Lenny: There are only two ways to gain membership
  be the son of a Stonecutter -- Homer: Next?...
• Marge: You've worked hard at the bowling alley. Why don't you ask for a raise?
  Homer: Yeah, a raise. I've never been good enough at any job to deserve one before, but I'm damn good at this one....
• Grimes: Can you believe that guy? He's in his office making a pathetic attempt to look professional.
  Carl: Hey, what do you got against Homer, anyway?...
• Homer: How much does it pay? Bart: Thirty bucks a week!
  Homer: Pfft! I make more than that. -- Bart gets a part-time job, "Bart the Murdere...
• Homer: [gasps] You know Lucius Sweet?! He's one of the biggest names in boxing!
  He's exactly as rich and as famous as Don King, and he looks just like him, too!...
• Lenny: Man, that tramp's got the energy of a hobo. Carl
  Yeah, he never stops punching -- except to check out his bindle....
• Grimes: Oh, that's my degree in nuclear physics. I'm sure you all have one.
  Lenny: Oh yeah, Carl and I each have a masters'....
• I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muumuu.
  -- Homer Simpson King-Size Home...