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• I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• There's nothing funny about a funeral. Except in the South .
  .. Southerners are naturally humorous. The funeral procession started by and everybody got quiet, put their hand over their heart, and I whispered to this ol' boy, "Who died?...
• I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
  I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights....
• My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. -- Steven Wrigh
• For thirty years a certain man went to spend every evening with Mme.
  ___. When his wife died his friends believed he would marry her, and urged him to do so....
• I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy... -- Stephen Wrigh
• I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car.
  .. the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...