Related:

• In 1976 my parents moved to Florida...in 1980 I found them again.
• Nothing in life is "fun for the whole family." -- Jerry Seinfeld
• Has any turtle ever outlived a shaker of turtle food? -- Jerry Seinfeld
• Kill your parents. -- Jerry Rubi
• It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
  -- Jerry Seinfeld...
• Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not the color, but to accept God's final decision on where your lips end.
  -- Jerry Seinfeld...
• In what can only be described as a surprise move, God has officially announced His candidacy for the U.
  S. presidency. During His press conference today, the first in over 4000 years, He is quoted as saying, "I think I have a chance for the White House if I can just get my campaign pulled together in time....
• Buckle up, Ted, it's the Law." -- Seen on a sign in Florida, outside the priso