The Diagnostic Supervisor stepped out of Turbolift TLA3:, and stared at the
carnage before him on the bridge. The captain's OPA0 console was nearly
completely dismantled, and components littered the floor.
"Ah, there you are, McCoy, I'm just having a spot of trouble with the
log recorder. I have replaced everything in the chair except the paint so
far ..."
The communicator beeped.
"Ensign Roche to Bridge, I've located 15 liters of the chemical colorant
you were looking for".
"Good, send it up to the bridge, along with two crewmen armed with multibristle
emulsion applicators."
"McCoy", he said, turning to the amazed Supervisor, "have you any ideas about
repelling this attack, and getting the captain back ?"
"I have been in touch with Remote Diagnostics", said McCoy, earning the
kind of respectful looks from the bridge crew normally awarded to a medium
who has claimed contact with the late departed, "and they advise us to
reverse the position of the ship while they lock weapons."
"Mr Scott", exclaimed Checksum, "planet is locking weapons on the ENTERP::,
some kind of MOVC5 with zero operand beam".
"This could erase our entire address space, Checksum, bring us about, 180
degrees".
The ENTERP:: executed a series of dizzying ROTL instructions, bringing its
face about. The planetary weapons fired, vaporizing a nearby moon.
"I am verra impressed, McCoy, how did it work ?"
"We simply transposed the least significant part of our start address with
the most significant, producing a bitwise reversed virtual address. Normally
this would cause an access violation, but with the weapons latched onto
the first byte as a length indicator it resulted in considerable more
destruction than planned, but in the wrong place".
"But, that might have destroyed the captain and Mr Spock !"
"Ah, well it says here, 'Warning: the redirection of the weapon may cause
system failure, loss of files, or complete destruction of life as we know it
on nearby planets or satellites. Consequently, Digital recommends caution
in the use of this patch'."
"Hmm, anyway, it should take them a while to regen those weapons, meanwhile
lets work on a way to recover the landing party."
carnage before him on the bridge. The captain's OPA0 console was nearly
completely dismantled, and components littered the floor.
"Ah, there you are, McCoy, I'm just having a spot of trouble with the
log recorder. I have replaced everything in the chair except the paint so
far ..."
The communicator beeped.
"Ensign Roche to Bridge, I've located 15 liters of the chemical colorant
you were looking for".
"Good, send it up to the bridge, along with two crewmen armed with multibristle
emulsion applicators."
"McCoy", he said, turning to the amazed Supervisor, "have you any ideas about
repelling this attack, and getting the captain back ?"
"I have been in touch with Remote Diagnostics", said McCoy, earning the
kind of respectful looks from the bridge crew normally awarded to a medium
who has claimed contact with the late departed, "and they advise us to
reverse the position of the ship while they lock weapons."
"Mr Scott", exclaimed Checksum, "planet is locking weapons on the ENTERP::,
some kind of MOVC5 with zero operand beam".
"This could erase our entire address space, Checksum, bring us about, 180
degrees".
The ENTERP:: executed a series of dizzying ROTL instructions, bringing its
face about. The planetary weapons fired, vaporizing a nearby moon.
"I am verra impressed, McCoy, how did it work ?"
"We simply transposed the least significant part of our start address with
the most significant, producing a bitwise reversed virtual address. Normally
this would cause an access violation, but with the weapons latched onto
the first byte as a length indicator it resulted in considerable more
destruction than planned, but in the wrong place".
"But, that might have destroyed the captain and Mr Spock !"
"Ah, well it says here, 'Warning: the redirection of the weapon may cause
system failure, loss of files, or complete destruction of life as we know it
on nearby planets or satellites. Consequently, Digital recommends caution
in the use of this patch'."
"Hmm, anyway, it should take them a while to regen those weapons, meanwhile
lets work on a way to recover the landing party."
Related:
- Hi Folks,
The following is a little humour written by Tom Wade of EuroKom
and Eoin Meehan of Printech International plc.
We hope it lightens your day! Distribute or destroy at will!... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.
The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here.... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
< -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?... - Mr Scott, I have successfully mounted an area of /usr/planet as a remote
NFS client disk
"Excellent Checksum.
Remind me to mention you in 'Software Dispatch'" "Scotty", exclaimed McCoy, "the least mention of what we're doing the better.... - Mr Scott, I have a fix - it's Captain Kirk !"
"Mr Scott to transporter room.
Lock onto navigator's coordinates and beam to the bridge immediately" The captain materialized next to the navigator console, with an extremely surprised look on his face.... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around.... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals.... - The Wizard of Zone
Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little
black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived
on a farm.
He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
