Related:

• This "world-famous authority on the paranormal and supernatural" gave a lecture at Texas A&M and was impressed by the fact that the lecture hall was filled with Aggies eagerly listening and taking copious notes.
  At the conclusion of the lecture he announced a question and answer period....
• No longer a Ghost!
• Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town.
• HE: "Do you like cocktails?" SHE: "Sure, tell me some.
• Under the old apple tree.... is where she first showed it to me.
  .. She showed me her spot and she called it a twat.. But it looked like an asshole to me.......
• This ol country preacher (have to be careful so I am not racist) met a member of his flock one day and saw she was pregnant and her husband had died over a year ago.
  He informed her she had been a sinnin and she told him no, she had had intercourse with his ghost....
• As I heard it ( to the tune of the song ) By the shade of the old apple tree, That's where she first showed it to me.
  It was hairy and black, And she called it her crack, But it looked like a manhole to me....
• She means nothing to me.
• She turned me into a newt!