Related:

• Q: What is the value of the contour integral around Western Europe?
  A: Zero. Q: Why? A: Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!...
• Quayle'isms: * "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
  * "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure....
• Many are educated...few are learned.
• A feeling common to most Canadians is that Americans, when met individually, can be so likable, while the country as a whole is not.
  The American I liked best in my travels about Europe was the young man I encountered one day at the Acropolis as tourists scrambled to record that crowning achievement high above smoggy Athens....
• "Mommy, mommy, I don't WANT to go to Europe!" "Shut up and keep swimming...&quo
• ANOTHER WAR STORY A WW II American soldier had been on the front lines in Europe for three months when he was finally given a week of R&R.
  He caught a supply boat to a supply base in the south of England, then caught a train to London....
• Always remove the last screw first.
• A physicist, a statistician, and a (pure) mathematician go to the races and place bets on horses.
  The physicist's horse comes in last. "I don't understand it....
• AMUSING IRRELEVANT FACTS *The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age.
  Its name was Fred. *There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo....