Related:

• All educated Americans, first or last, go to Europe.
• You will always find something in the last place you look.
• PROCRASTINATOR'S CREED 1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
  2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses....
• How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
  (Whispering voice:) "What do you WANT it to be?" How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...
• Q: Do you know why Nancy Reagan is always on top? A: Because Ronnie only knows how to screw up.
• Why did the theatre critic always praise the first show of the season?
  He didn't want to stone the first cast....
• A patient suffering from insomnia was told by her doctor to be sure that she never went to bed on an empty stomach, but always had something to eat first.
  "But, once you told me never to eat before going to bed," replied the puzzled patient....
• How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  1) One liberal and twenty-eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities....
• Massachusetts Driving Rules: ** A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people you can cut in front of in line by passing on the right.
  You lose face if you hit any of the orange construction barrels....