Related:

• Drag the Joneses down to your level. It's cheaper.
• You bust 'em & cuff 'em and we stuff 'em and keep 'em!!
• Dilbert's Words of Wisdom ... 1. I can please only one person per day.
  Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either....
• Q: How many Ethiopians can you keep in your bathtub? A: None. They keep slipping down the drain.
• Ok, then there's another song, then it comes back with just acoustic guitar and about 7,000,000 people singing.
  .. I Like 'em Dead (reprise) (He likes 'em dead) You kill 'em I'll grill 'em (He likes 'em dead) You hang 'em I'll bang 'em (He likes 'em dead) You impale 'em I'll nail 'em You can bet as long as I'm around You'll never bury a virgin in the ground....
• How can you tell if an Ethiopian woman is pregnant?
  Hold her up to the light. What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?...
• How to keep a healthy level of insanity while driving other people crazy.
  .. ** At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down....
• I Like 'em Dead I was just 13 when my mommy caught me French-kissing a cadaver in my bed.
  She said, "Son, how could you do this?" And I said "Mom, I like 'em dead....
• EEKING OUT A LIVING IN RADIOACTIVE SHOES Come now, don’t any of you baby boomers remember having your childhood feet x-rayed at the shoe store?
  It was right about the time we were being stuffed with megadoses of penicillin no matter what the wheezy etiology, and ducking for cover under one-armed elementary school desks in mock nuclear bomb attacks....