Dilbert's Words of Wisdom ...
1. I can please only one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow's not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially love the
swooshing sound they make
as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and
I'll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
and some days you're the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute:
if he isn't there the first time you need him,
chances are you won't be needing him again.
6. I don't have an attitude problem.
You have a perception problem.
7. My reality check bounced.
8. On the keyboard of life,
always keep one finger on
the escape key.
9. I don't suffer from stress -
I'm a carrier...
10. You're slower than a herd of turtles
stampeding through peanut butter!
11. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo...
12. Never argue with an idiot.
They drag you down to their level then
beat you with experience.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
10 RULES FOR FEMALE AOL'ers
1. Before deciding you're falling in love with a man you meet on AOL,
and you tell him your bra size and other measurements, be sure he's not your
long lost cousin, who used to live in the Ozarks and boil his own soap, but
now has a corner office and works for IBM....
