Related:

• If You Want A Guarantee, Buy A Toaster!
• I don't want a toaster.
• Unknown Las Vegas is jumping on the bandwagon. They're offering a Buffalo Bills gambling junket, and it comes with a guarantee
  Play all you want; you'll never win....
• A lady goes into a hardware store and asks for a hinge.
  The man at the counter gets one for her and asks "Do you want a screw for that hinge?...
• What if___________ toasters? If IBM made a toaster, it would be big and blue and they would make just one toaster to which people would submit bread for overnight toasting.
  IBM would project an eventual worldwide market of, oh, maybe five or six of these big blue toasters....
• Heard at a John McCutcheon concert: "Buy a toaster, get a free Savings & Loan.
  Moriarty, aka Jeff Meye...
• Anybody want to buy a used cold?
• A duck went into a drugstore to buy some condoms. Druggist said
  You want me to put that on your bill?" Duck said...
• I want what money can't buy -- more money.