Related:

• BAR TRANSLATIONS "No, really, I'm OK to drive." --I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.
  "I'm not used to these darts." --I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed....
• Q. Why did the moron throw the butter out the window?
  A. Because he wanted to see a butterfly. Q. Why did the little moron throw margarine out of the window?...
• Q: How come Polocks can't use word processors? A: They keep getting white-out all over the screen.
• I can count even higher if I take my shoes off.
• 1] 15 digits to dial a local number? He dials 15 digits to connect to his school computer.
  Sounds the recordings studio went a bit over board with the sound effects....
• This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line.
  Needless to say the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause"....
• The WordPerfect Help Line... (a little old...but still good) This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line.
  Needless, to say the help desk employee was fired...
• Barbie Barbie c/o Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA 90245 November 7, 1997 Santa Claus North Pole, Dear Santa
  Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya, Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME!...
• Ooops I got GUI all over my scree