Related:

• Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
  After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up....
• A man and his wife were traveling through Kansas on a hot day
  when they stopped for gas the wife stayed in the car with the windows up and the air conditioning going, while the husband stepped out to talk to the man servic- ing the car....
• a fare trade A man walked up to the counter of an auto parts store.
  "Excuse me," he said, "I'd like to get a new gas cap for my Yugo....
• Two men were hunting in the hills of Kentucky. Bo turned to Jim-Bob, after taking a sip from his sixth beer of the hour, and said that he needed to step into the bushes for a minute.
  So Bo walked out of sight and pulled out his dick....
• A manufacturer of electric light bulbs was talking to the owner of a theater.
  I'd like to supply you with bulbs for your marquee," the manufacturer said, "and it wont cost you a cent....
• Dumb & Dumber ** A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
  A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants....
• Signs Your Execution Isn't Going Well 15> The poison gas is bad enough, but pumping laughing gas into the audience chamber is just plain cruel!
  14> The anti-capital punishment demonstrators are carrying signs reading, "Okay, but just this once....
• 1999 DARWIN AWARDS Yes, folks, it's time again for the 1999 Darwin Awards.
  For those sheltered few of you who are not fully aware of the Darwin Award...
• A man and a woman are driving home from a date. The man stops the car, and the woman say
  Oh no, you aren't going to pull the "out of gas" routine!...