Related:

• We use epsilons and deltas in mathematics because mathematicians tend to make errors.
• One Liners If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer....
• Your idea of safe sex is a pillow covering the head-board.
• One Liners Worth Remembering Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Eagles may soa
  but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol I intend to live forever - so far, so good I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?...
• MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese - think about this one.
  I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met....
• Q: How can you tell when an elephant's got her period?
  A: There's a quarter on your bedstand, and your pillow is missing....
• You have to read the whole thing: The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life.
  1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time....
• More One Liners * If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  * For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain....
• Gone to Heaven One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven.
  There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat "you lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know"....