Gone to Heaven
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the
Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat "you lived a good life and if there
is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me
know". The cat thinks for a moment and says "Lord, all my life I have lived
with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops
the cat and says "say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
Several days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to
heaven. Again there is the Lord there to greet them with the same offer. The
mice answer "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from
cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're
tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have
to run anymore?" The Lord says "say no more" and fits each mouse with
beautiful new roller skates.
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing
on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him "How are things
since you are here?" The cat stretches and yawns and replies "It is
wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On
Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the
Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat "you lived a good life and if there
is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me
know". The cat thinks for a moment and says "Lord, all my life I have lived
with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops
the cat and says "say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
Several days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to
heaven. Again there is the Lord there to greet them with the same offer. The
mice answer "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from
cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're
tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have
to run anymore?" The Lord says "say no more" and fits each mouse with
beautiful new roller skates.
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing
on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him "How are things
since you are here?" The cat stretches and yawns and replies "It is
wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On
Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"
Related:
- The Cat, The Mice, and Heaven...
One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven,
where he meets the Lord. The Lord says to the cat,... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while... - A Frenchman, an Englishman, a Texan, and a Mexican are flying in a plane.
The pilot explains to her passengers that the plane... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt... - Heavenly Entrance Exam
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah... - Quotes About Cats:
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." -
Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for...
From the same category:
- Anagrams...
** Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters:
Dirty Room ** Evangelist: When you rearrange the letters... - You have to read the whole thing:
The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High
School girls,
teaching how to prepare for married life. 1. Have dinner... - New Conversion Rates
2 monograms = 1 diagram
1 million
microphones = 1 megaphone 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbird... - Needing A Little Extra Money...
A blonde, wanting to earn some money,
decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and... - Heard on the Today Show 8/2/89
Bryant Gumbal interviewing a middle east expert
Bryant:
Sir, What is that the Soviets did, that was so effective...
