Gone to Heaven
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the
Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat "you lived a good life and if there
is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me
know". The cat thinks for a moment and says "Lord, all my life I have lived
with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops
the cat and says "say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.
Several days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to
heaven. Again there is the Lord there to greet them with the same offer. The
mice answer "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from
cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're
tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have
to run anymore?" The Lord says "say no more" and fits each mouse with
beautiful new roller skates.
About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing
on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him "How are things
since you are here?" The cat stretches and yawns and replies "It is
wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On
Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...