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• A young woman got married at Chester, Her mother she kissed and she blessed her.
  Says she, "You`re in luck, He's a stunning good fuck, For I`ve had him myself down in Leicester....
• Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, and I keep losing my temper with people.
  Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID BASTARD!...
• Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
  Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patie...
• While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall doo
  Congratulations! You've won one free game of Toilet Tennis!...
• A ventriloquist in a nightclub is telling a series of [ethnic] jokes.
  He plays straight man while the little dummy on his knee poses the riddles and answers questions....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Upon answering the door to her whorehouse, the madam was surprised to see an amputee.
  "Look at yourself," the madam said, "no arms, no legs, what could you possibly do?...
• Upon answering the door to her whorehouse, the madam was surprised to see an amputee.
  "Look at yourself," the madam said, "no arms, no legs, what could you possibly do?...
• There are no stupid questions, except for the ones you ask.