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• Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!
• Betty Crocker A husband is watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?
  It's been flickering for weeks now." He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light?...
• How To Shower - Like a Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
  2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom....
• So, little boy, who in your family do you look like?
  "I look like my father!" "Ah, I see! And you little girl, which one of your parents do you look like?...
• Don't look back. You might see reason.
• The better you look, the more you'll see.
• Comb your hair...you look dreadful!
• You look good with nothing but the radio on.
• You were so ugly when you were born, the doctor took one look at your face, turned you over and said, "Look .
  .. twins!...