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• Aphorisms: ***** Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either....
• You Know When It's Going To Be A Bad Day Whe
• You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
  .... %end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you look like a real wanker....
• How many animals can you find in a pair of pantyhose?
  10 little piggies, 1 ass, 2 calves, 1 pussy, 1000 hares, maybe some crabs, and one dead fish nobody can find ....
• One Liners If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer....
• Greeting Cards That Were Rejected By Halmark: "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonde
  ... -- What was I thinking?" "Congratulations on your wedding day!...
• You Know it's Your Last Day at Work When... You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?
  you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox....
• Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned * No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
  * When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair....
• YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .................... YOU'RE PROBABLY A REDNECK IF .
  ................... When you take your trash to the dump and you return home with more stuff than you left with....